Allosaurus at the Office

allosaurus cubiculus
July 10

Allosaurus: Soon To No Longer Be At the Office.

Hello Mammals.

Allosaurus has some bad news.  Allosaurus has about a week left before he has to leave the office.  Due to some re-organization at Allosaurus’ company, he’s going to have to head off and do something else.

This reorganization is really only affecting the office’s non-human employees, like Allosaurus, Dalek, The Marvel Supermugs and Tiny Plastic Harry Potter.  Allosaurus’ favorite co-worker, co-conspirator and photographer, C. Monkey, being human, still has a job.

Allosaurus really isn’t sure what to make of this just yet.  He’ll probably still post next week, but after that he’ll take some time off to figure out what’s next.  And if he does return, he’s sure he won’t be able to post as regularly.

Allosaurus is very saddened by this development, and had hoped that it wouldn’t come to this.  But draconian corporations will be draconian corporations.

Allosaurus hopes that he’s entertained at least a little while he’s been here on tumblr, and with any luck he might be back in a lesser capacity.

Thank you, humans,

Allosaurus.

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Allosaurus is Afraid of Getting Canned.

Allosaurus is Afraid of Getting Canned.

July 9
Allosaurus thinks this would make a much better movie.

Allosaurus thinks this would make a much better movie.

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Allosaurus does not like this movie idea at all.  Allosuarus thinks that human priorities are all wrong. zolora: LOL! Get it? Women think with their hearts! They’re emotional! It’s too hard to have rational thoughts when their brains are all filled with weddings and babies and chocolate cravings! But men only care about sex! Having a penis makes you a crude, callous neanderthal! It’s biology! …Except, for some men, being an asshole is just a guise they use to protect themselves against scary feelings (caused by The Bitchy Ex who broke their hearts, of course—don’t go thinking women aren’t the problem in the first place, now!), so women can’t stop looking for a man—or stop thinking about looking for a man, ever—because they might miss the one who will be Changed by Love! But don’t worry, prospective audience. Men and women are Different, make no mistake. Your relationship doesn’t suck because you settled for the wrong person—it’s simply impossible for people with different chromosomes to even begin to understand one another. Also, you don’t look like movie stars, so there wasn’t any hope for you anyway. Cheer yourself with a trip to the theater!

Allosaurus does not like this movie idea at all.  Allosuarus thinks that human priorities are all wrong.

zolora:

LOL! Get it? Women think with their hearts! They’re emotional! It’s too hard to have rational thoughts when their brains are all filled with weddings and babies and chocolate cravings! But men only care about sex! Having a penis makes you a crude, callous neanderthal! It’s biology!

…Except, for some men, being an asshole is just a guise they use to protect themselves against scary feelings (caused by The Bitchy Ex who broke their hearts, of course—don’t go thinking women aren’t the problem in the first place, now!), so women can’t stop looking for a man—or stop thinking about looking for a man, ever—because they might miss the one who will be Changed by Love!

But don’t worry, prospective audience. Men and women are Different, make no mistake. Your relationship doesn’t suck because you settled for the wrong person—it’s simply impossible for people with different chromosomes to even begin to understand one another.

Also, you don’t look like movie stars, so there wasn’t any hope for you anyway. Cheer yourself with a trip to the theater!

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Is it wrong that Allosaurus thinks this looks delicious? fromoutsidethebox: (via washingtonpost.com) July 7: A three-day-old green turtle heads toward the water on a beach in Kosgoda, Sri Lanka. Sri Lanka is home to five of the eight total turtle species in the world. Vivek Prakash-Reuters I’m always in awe of sea turtles because they go through so much at such an early age to survive.

Is it wrong that Allosaurus thinks this looks delicious?

fromoutsidethebox:

(via washingtonpost.com)

July 7: A three-day-old green turtle heads toward the water on a beach in Kosgoda, Sri Lanka. Sri Lanka is home to five of the eight total turtle species in the world. Vivek Prakash-Reuters

I’m always in awe of sea turtles because they go through so much at such an early age to survive.

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Allosaurus is an Intellectual.

Allosaurus is an Intellectual.

July 8
BONUS-TERMINATE: WE ARE THE DAAAALEKS! OUR SONGS ARE BET-TER!

BONUS-TERMINATE:

WE ARE THE DAAAALEKS! OUR SONGS ARE BET-TER!

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Allosaurus is Truly Outrageous.  Truly, Truly, Truly Outrageous.

Allosaurus is Truly Outrageous.  Truly, Truly, Truly Outrageous.

July 7
Allosaurus Laughs in the Face of Death.

Allosaurus Laughs in the Face of Death.

July 6
Allosaurus Can’t Believe it’s Already Monday.

Allosaurus Can’t Believe it’s Already Monday.